Searching for true love

by Keren

I have desired finding true love all my life, only to find out there’s no such thing as true love.

Growing up, I missed an essential part of love – family love.
The sacrifices and almost readymade love felt for immediate family, looking after one another and each one having the other’s back. The tough fatherly love and tender motherly care. The collective imposing love of both parents. The love of a protective brother and partnering love of a sister. The petty fights that create bittersweet memories. The naive love of children that makes them believe their parents have answers to everything and are always right.

It’s a big difference when someone who’s been lovestarved all their life parents you singlehandedly. It’s a beautiful kind of love that shields very jealously because you’re all they’ve got, but I realized that it wasn’t a balanced diet.
I longed for more.
I longed for true love in a partner.
One whom we’ll raise the best kids in the universe together;
Pouring out all the love inside of us, with Jesus at the centre.

After all, I didn’t choose not to have the foundational love of family, but for a life partner with whom I’d do the biggest chunk of my life with, I do have a choice. Yes, I do.

So, I channeled all my desires to finding true love – maybe for the wrong reasons – only to find that there’s no such thing as true love other than that of Christ.
Love is consistent and intentional sacrifice.
Love is pain and service.
Love is death, to die everyday for a better life for whom you love.

The true love I sought was a burden too heavy for a man to shoulder.

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