by Leenah O
In a country like Nigeria, where women feel they are entitled to being treated like queens and waited upon by their better halves, I stand out. Why do you think that is? It’s because from the moment I start to feel that little thing called love, I kinda start acting like the guy normally should. Not being lazy and expecting food on the table when I get home o, just assuming the role of caregiver and ‘pamperer’.
At the start of the romance, it’s the little things like buying airtime, sending sweet texts, calling throughout the day, being there to talk or comfort. Sooner or later as we move on and become more serious, it escalates into more expensive gifts, cooking, cleaning, charming the friends, dedicating all my time to him and making him the understand that he’s extremely important to me. I’ve even opened my heart and bank account several times, just to show that money ain’t a thing when I love you! Now that I’m writing this, it kind of sounds extreme…but really, if this isn’t what guys want, what is?
Don’t get it twisted, I don’t do these things to get a guy to stay with me or to love me, not at all- I’m a catch! I consider myself to be an independent woman. I’m pretty cute, nicely proportioned, smart as heck, witty, can hold my own in different type of situations, Christian (not just a nominal one), fun, love to cook and clean….blah…blah…blah(The list of my pros go on). I believe, however, that I should treat the people around me the way I want to be treated, so if I’m treating a guy with all the care and respect he can get, he would reciprocate. But… it doesn’t always work like that.
I’m doing almost everything right and treating dudes like they say they want to be treated but it never seems to really pan out. The more I think about it, I might be the cause of many of my failed relationships indirectly. The fact that I don’t seem to be letting the guys be the guys in the relationship might be emasculating them. The fact that guys are always whining about wanting a girl to pamper them and treat them like kings seems to be only for show. I have found that once I start to how just how caring I can be, they tend to become nonchalant about the way they treat me- no more regular calls, texts; god forbid they try to surprise me with gifts or outings!
The way I see it now, guys want girls to need them. I’ve heard that girls work to earn money for themselves, but guys work to get money to get those girls. I’m honestly not trying to justify the gold diggers out there, but I can safely say that even if you treat a man like The President of The United States, he still wants to feel like he can trump whatever treatment you give him. You can buy him lunch as many times as possible, but he still wants you to call him and tell him “I’m hungry babe”, just so you can both debate on what to eat and reach a decision. This isn’t because you can’t afford to buy yourself lunch, he just wants to know that you will call him when you want something solved, as opposed to always being a “Boss Lady”.
Truth be told, a man’s pride and ego are usually directly tied to what he can do for his loved ones at that point in time. My two cents- Even when you know you can accomplish something by yourself, sometimes, it’s always better to let that man in your life do it for you.
Disclaimer – It’s a matter of male ego, not a justification or a call to become a gold digger!