Processing Hurtful Moments

by Olufunmilayo

Most people have experienced hurtful moments. It could be a word said carelessly said by a loved one. A deeply desired outcome falling through. Being hurt by a friend. The ending of a relationship. The death of a loved one. A feeling of despondency. And no one being there to talk to…. The list of hurtful moments is endless. Usually, when I have such a moment, I begin to replay how I felt in my mind repeatedly. It becomes a “do-loop” in my mind and I often cannot seem to stop it. At times when I miss the pain of such moments, I play it over, so I can feel it. What a miserable life! You might think. Perhaps rightly so. Why don’t you get over it and move on? You might ask.

Well, this describes me a year ago and I think I can offer some tips to get over this vicious circle.

First, I understood that anytime I got into the loop I left feeling worse. So, as soon as I started ruminating over the hurtful moment, I will tell myself to stop immediately. By stopping the thought as soon as it started, it was my way of taking it captive.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ  – 1 Corinthians 10:5

Next, I present the case to Christ and just mutter silently, “Lord, help me with these thoughts, help me to forget them.” Over time, I found that gradually those thoughts were becoming “obedient” to Christ. They did not upset me as I had thought they would anymore.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sin – 1 Peter 4:8

Finally, I pray for the people who hurt me or the experience that made me hurt and pray for God’s love to fill my heart. The truth is, it’s very hard to pray genuinely for people without beginning to love them – or at least forgive their trespasses.

Love indeed covers a multitude of sins. Pray for your enemies. Pray for those who despitefully use you. Prayer brings love.

How do you address yours? Please, share in the comment box.

2 Replies to “Processing Hurtful Moments

  1. This is a good article which is addressing an important issue. The first and best place to take our hurt is to the Lord, laying out our heart in prayer and reading and allowing the healing word of God. Then we have to focus by the grace of God on our purpose and the things God wants to be doing. God bless you.

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